six life-changing decisions you can make in 2025

and they're all free

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Looking back over the last six months, I never expected to be where I am now.

On Sunday, June 30th, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. That Saturday, I’d just returned from a weekend in Amsterdam with my friends, where I’d been smoking weed and drinking alcohol. Mentally, it’s the most unstable and unhappy I’ve ever felt. I drowned everything out by numbing myself—avoiding all the things in my life that made me feel awful.

The first six months of 2024 were the hardest months of my life.

For over three years, I lived in a city which never felt like home.

I struggled to make friends. My relationship wasn’t healthy. I knew my life was falling apart. I wasn’t motivated for my job. I woke up with no excitement for life. My family was in another country. I was lonely.

The 30th June was the turning point in my life.

That day, I packed my things and went to Berlin to stay with my brother while I figured out what I wanted to do next. Fast-forward to 30th December 2024, and I’ve never been happier.

I know there is someone just like me going through a tough time.

If there’s anything I could say that would help you change your life, there are six things I’d tell you to do—here they are.

1. Sell everything and build a treehouse in the middle of the jungle if it makes you happy

Okay, I didn’t move to the jungle—but I had to make my headings interesting.

Now, the small city I spent over 3 years living in is called Bonn.

When I first got there, it was exciting. Everything new sparks curiosity. But eventually, the novelty wears off, and you realise how you actually feel. And I hated living there. The city was cold, there was nothing to do, and I felt trapped. Despite all of this, I stayed.

Where you live has a massive impact on your happiness.

If your environment aligns with your values and lifestyle preferences, everything falls into place.

You feel at ease. You perform better in your job. Your relationships, whether with a romantic partner or friends, feel lighter. Life flows naturally.

But when your environment doesn’t align with your values, chaos takes over.

The Stoics say you should feel at home wherever you are by finding peace within yourself. While I do agree, I think your physical environment plays an important role. It shapes your relationship, motivation, and overall satisfaction with life. If you love living in a small village with 13 people, you’re never going to be happy moving to the centre of London.

Changing my environment was the best decision I made.

So, the next time you decide to change your environment and relocate to another city, take the time to reflect.

Don’t jump in blindly like I did.

Be intentional.

Does this place align with your values and goals? If not, don’t do it. Where you live is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make.

2. Cut people out who don’t support your growth—even if it’s your mum.

Sometimes, the people closest to you hold you back from making positive changes.

In my case, my partner ended things, but the lesson remains. At the start of 2024, I set a personal goal to cut down on smoking weed and take better care of my health. Now, I wasn’t a heavy smoker, but it was a habit I couldn’t fully shake. My weekends revolved around it. Even when I didn’t want to smoke, it was easy to give in because everyone around me did.

And if I stopped smoking, then what? Would I have to find new friends?

Towards the end of our relationship, I suggested we stop smoking so we could have seriously sober conversations about our problems. But we weren’t on the same page. And for the relationship to continue making sense, I smoked when I didn’t want to.

Smoking weed made everything we spoke about feel like a lie—it numbed the reality we needed to face. Smoking helped me shove my problems to the back of my mind.

When I left Bonn, I left behind the people who didn’t support my change.

Now, I’m surrounded by people who respect my decisions. No one pressures me into doing anything I don’t want to do. Part of this is because I’m more confident than I’ve ever been because I overcame a challenging six months. And I’ve done all of it sober.

Cutting ties is hard, but it’s necessary when people hold you back.

You can always revisit relationships later, but you need space to grow first.

3. Go sober (at least until you are much happier and in control)

When life feels out of control, the best thing you can do is go sober.

Alcohol and drugs are depressants—all they do is mask your problems temporarily, but they never help you solve them for good. People think they can’t live without alcohol. It’s a spiritual ritual they partake in every weekend to escape their boring and depressing jobs.

Alcohol and drugs are like walking toward a massive black vortex.

You know it’s there, but instead of facing it head-on you create fog to hide it. And every day, the fog clears, you see the vortex again. So, you drink or use drugs to create even more fog. But the vortex never disappears. It only looms larger the closer you get to it.

And eventually, you’re only one step away from falling in.

The day my ex-girlfriend broke up with me was the day I quit alcohol and drugs.

It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Life is clearer now, and I have the energy and focus to pour into my writing and business. I’ve eliminated all distractions. I never wake up hungover. I’m getting 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

If you’re unhappy, go sober. The people who say they care about you should support your decisions. And if they don’t, it’s time to change your environment and cut these people out.

If anything, these depressants should be saved for the times you are happy—not to cover up sadness.

You can read more about my sober journey here.

Why I've Been Sober For 43 Days

4. Write like a maniac at 5am

Writing has been life-changing for me.

For years, I followed the path everyone else expected of me.

Go to university.
Get my bachelor’s degree.
Get my master’s degree.
Start working a corporate job.

I hated it.

I woke up every morning thinking if this was the purpose of life. Was I the only person who saw it this way? Everyone I spoke to seemed to enjoy their job. I was the only person in my circle who changed jobs three times in less than three years.

Writing gave me three things.

Clarity. Courage. Confidence.

Before I started writing, I felt aimless. Now, I use writing to untangle my messy thoughts and make sense of my emotions. I publish everything I write on Substack because I want to get feedback on my ideas and share the things that have worked for me.

Here’s what writing has done for me:

• Writing is the reason I quit my job.

• Writing is the reason I came out of a 4-year relationship stronger than I thought possible.

• Writing gave me the confidence to invest $6,000 in an online course that has helped me monetise my passions.

• Writing has helped me build a community of readers who engage in my work.

• Writing has gifted me with a passion for life I thought I’d never find again.

If you’re struggling, start writing.

Be honest with yourself. Publish online. See how quickly your life starts to change.

I’ve been doing it for six months, and I’m so happy I made a start even when I had no idea where to start.

5. Throw your phone in the ocean

Okay, I didn’t do this. But I wish I would.

I used to spend seven hours a day on my phone, mindlessly scrolling social media. The worst part of it for me was the comparison. I saw everyone else’s life, and how amazing it was. Even people 10 years younger than me—who seemed to have everything figured out.

Seeing perfect lives online made me feel awful about my own.

And I hated comparing myself. I hated being glued to my phone. But I still did it. Because our phones are designed to be addictive.

I always notice when I’ve had a really good day. And when I’ve had a good day, it’s because I barely used my phone.

I deleted all social media from my phone 5 months ago.

Now, I only use my phone to text or to listen to music. I don’t care if I take 5 days to respond to someone. If that’s how long it takes, then that’s how long it takes. My energy and time are my two precious resources—and I refuse to let a device take them away from me.

When you remove social media from your life, you’ll realise the only thing you were missing out on was living your own life.

You create time to regain control of your life.
You become more present.
You make better decisions.
You have way more time—even too much of it.
You slow down.
Your focus skyrockets.
You realise how much better life is without social media.

If social media is draining your confidence, energy, and time—delete it.

And if you can’t, throw your phone in the ocean.

Life is so much better without it.

If you want to read more about social media and our phone, here’s an article I wrote a couple of months ago.

social media is slowly killing you

6. Stop lying to yourself

Here’s a short one.

The person who lies to you the most is yourself.

I lied to myself constantly. I told myself my relationship was amazing, my job was awesome, and the city I lived in wasn’t that bad.

I should be grateful for what I had, right?

Look, I know some people have it much worse than me.

My life is very good compared to 97% of people—even at my lowest. But my experience of life on Earth is my own—I can’t compare it to anyone else’s. My life is the only life I’ll ever live. So, I can be unhappy.

You can’t force anything.

Change only happens when you stop lying and face the truth.

Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s a necessary step to unlock your potential.

Life stagnates when you refuse to change. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find the courage to make the changes you need to grow.

So face your problems head-on—and that starts when you stop lying to yourself.

If you don’t, your life will catch up with you.

Better to deal with it now than 10 years down the line.

And if you don’t want to keep postponing what matters, here’s another read you might like.

Why Do You Postpone Yourself?

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, positive start to 2025!

Talk soon,

Stefano

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