what life's like if you've never been tested

On Friday evening, I was working in a coffee shop.

Two women sat in front of me. One of them said ‘I work three days a week, the pay is alright, and I have 30 days off. Where else am I going to find something like this?’.

Most of society has been programmed to believe they have no options.

I was one of them.

You can find what you’re looking for.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

But only if you spend time and energy searching.

Otherwise, you’ll live a comfortable life that’s just alright.

You need to test yourself and push your imagined boundaries.

i’ve had a comfortable life

I grew up in a stable home, with supportive and loving parents. They both worked their socks off. They’re living proof you can do whatever you want to in life if you set your mind to it and work hard. My parents are my inspiration. And I’m very grateful for everything they’ve done for me.

But I’ve never been challenged.

I struggle to recall an experience or period of my life where I truly felt tested.

I grew up like most other children in the UK. I went to school, made some friends, came home, did my homework, played computer games, finished school, didn’t know what I wanted to do, went to university, and graduated.

Pretty standard.

Then I started working postgraduate jobs.

Why? Well, what else was I going to do? Everyone else does the same thing.

Up until now, I’ve walked the traditional path. Doing what’s expected of me. Copying those around me. Fitting in.

Now, I’m asking myself ‘is that it?’.

having the courage to burst the bubble

I’ve come to the realisation that I don’t want to fit in.

I’ll only have this life. I’ve always set a high expectation for myself. And I know when I’m slacking. I must force myself to do things that scare the life out of me.

I no longer want to feel comfortable.

If I must spend the rest of my days living like an average Joe, I really don’t know how I will get through it.

I lack purpose.

And getting out of my comfort zone is fundamental.

Nobody should remain inside a bubble for their entire life. As you’re growing up, you are protected from the outside world. You are not yet forming your own judgements and ideas. So, you hover very gently in the centre of the bubble.

And this is fine.

Eventually, you need to have the courage to roam around the edge of the bubble.

Do you dare to pop it?

I’m glad my life has been flipped on its head over the last few months.

One thing it has given me is control. I am able to decide for myself. And these decisions are finally being followed up with action.

When faced with an indeterminable outcome, you must risk by taking action.

I know everything I’m doing now is making me stronger.

Is it sad that I’m 27, and only now feel that my life is starting?

you can choose to work hard now or later in life

When you’ve never been tested, everything is served up to you on a silver plate. Someone is even raising the spoon to your mouth and feeding you.

You have all the opportunities in the world.

And there is so much to choose from.

But it’s not options you really want.

You just don’t see it yet.

Someday, you realise you want more from life. And your options are to accept where you are, because it’s what you know and offers the path of least resistance. Or, flip everything over and question all you’ve ever known.

If you’re willing to make changes, trust in the power of the universe. It will send signals. However insane these signals seem, do not refuse to entertain them.

Reflect on what you want. What path do you want to take? What’s your destination? What is important to you?

You must figure this out on your own because your life requires unique answers.

You must be willing to work hard to find these answers.

And you have two options in life:

• Either live easy now, work hard later.

• Or work hard now, and relax later.

The thought of having to work my ass off until I’m 60 makes me want to vomit.

And if you are working hard now, is it really on the things you want? Or are you working hard just for the sake of it? There’s a huge difference.

I am young. I have the energy to work hard on the things I want.

This is the perfect opportunity.

unlearning and relearning

So, what does this mean?

Well, I was programmed to believe I shouldn’t take risks.

I am now realising I must take risks.

And knowing I must take risks is forcing me to unlearn a lot of things.

What am I unlearning?

Things are magically going to fall into place.
I can only take 25 days of holiday a year.
I need to have a job like everyone else and suck it up.
It’s impossible to live life on my own terms.
I shouldn’t do what scares me.
I shouldn’t take risks.
I should listen to other people’s advice about what I should do with my life.
I can’t spend every second of my day doing what I love.
I should gain experience through safe employment first.
I need to work a 9-5 like everyone else.
I must become specialised in one area of work for maximum results.
I should look forward to the weekend because it’s time to relax.

It’s a new way of thinking, and I’m currently reprogramming my buttons.

I am learning I can do what I if I focus intently on a destination. I don’t have to work a safe job like everyone else, and I definitely do not need to limit the number of days I can relax to 25 per year. I can live a life I love, on my own terms, doing what I want. People around you want the best for you, so they’ll give you advice that is safe. But you must make your own mind up. The best way to gain experience is to dive straight into the deep end. I will get nowhere if I just dip my toes in the cold water a few times. I should become a generalist who understands everything. I contribute to society best when I do what makes me happy. When I’m happy, I am in the best position possible to radiate my energy onto others.

When you’ve never been tested, there’s a lot of new thinking required.

final thoughts

Please don’t waste your life staying comfortable.

You don’t want to be on your deathbed, reflecting on your regrets, chances not taken, opportunities declined.

If you’re not testing yourself, you’re just cruising gently through life.

Most importantly, are you thinking about making changes? If you are, it’s a good sign. If you’re genuinely satisfied with where you are, then I’m glad for you too because everyone establishes different expectations for themselves.

R - Realise you cannot waste your life stuck inside a bubble.

I - Imagine having the courage to pop your bubble - and then do it.

S - Seek out the challenges and evolve

K - Keep pushing your boundaries